I’m going to be 40 next month. I head into that year with the hope that I can finally achieve some form of stability. Some sense of confidence in myself, I am confident in certain aspects of myself, but not in my ability to stay up.
There are things I’d like to have in my life. Stability is one of the main attributes I would like to attain. I’ve had so many mountaintop moments, so many moments where I thought I had it all figured out and that I wouldn’t fall back into the abyss of depression or apathy. But I always have. This doesn’t mean that I always will.
There are some issues I need to address. I’ve looked back over the past 20 years of my life and looked at what I’ve done and what I’ve left undone. I’m asking what has worked for me and what hasn’t. There’s a lot to explore.
This time though, I am going to come up with a battle plan. So that when the going gets tough, I know the way out.